Love these ideas

- Random Right-Now Cocktails
- The Skip-Dinner Party (which I've been having all along, without knowing it)
Happy New Year's Eve, whatever you're doing! (Mine will have just three guests: me, Ben, & Jerry. : P)

Love,
Ginger

How TO Be Rude

1) When you see someone behind you also coming toward the elevator, get in it really quickly and press "door close," so that you can get to your destination right away but the person behind you gets the doors closed in her face.

OR: Don't press the button, but just stare blankly at the person outside of the elevator, making no effort to hold it for him.

2) When you open a door for yourself, don't look behind you to see if there's anyone who you could also hold it for. That way it will get slammed in that person's face.

OR: When someone kindly holds a door open for you, just walk through, without grabbing the door yourself, as if the person is your doorman. Also, make sure not to say "thank you"!

3) When someone—especially someone you see every day at work or home—greets you at the office, in your apartment-building lobby, or in the elevator, you should make sure to completely ignore them.

Follow these helpful tips at your holiday parties this season, and you're sure to make an impression!

Love,
Ginger

Ok, how can I get this job?

And, perhaps even more importantly, how can I become Desirée Rogers? Even her name is fabulous.

Yes, maybe she has some impressive experience and credentials that I have yet to acquire, but I (oh-so-modestly) would like to think I'm already on the ball with this: "she was known for her glittering parties and for setting fashion trends."

Delusionally,
Ginger

Nerds + cookies = awesomeness

A friend of mine just introduced me to this blog, and I was instantly smitten. . . . Mark my words, Ms. Humble is mere months away from her own bakery and book deal. Not to mention many inquiries into her photography services—her photos are gorgeous!

This is what I love seeing—someone taking a theme and/or passion, and just running with it wholeheartedly.

(And now, of course, I'm itching to throw a nerd-themed party.)

- Ginger

The Facebook Files, Part I

This is the first of my anticipated many posts about Facebook etiquette (or lack there of):

# 1: I see so many married women on Facebook listing their names as Ginger "Smith" Fete. This is incorrect.

Quotation marks should only be used for nicknames, as in Ginger "Fabulosa" Fete. So, if your nickname is your original last name, by all means, put it in quotes.

Otherwise, just write it punctuationless, as you would a middle name:
First OldLast NewLast.

Using italics only for emphasis,
Ginger

It's the most wonderful time of the year . . .

(Equestrian, 2005)

(Honeybear and Queen Bee (tiara behind antennae, staff not pictured), 2007)

. . . That's right, Halloween! I personally think buying your complete costume readymade is cheating, but it's better than not wearing one at all.

My major Halloween pet peeves:

1) overly scary/creepy costumes (in which you really think the person behind the mask might be taking advantage of his disguise to do some real evil),

2) "sexy" policeman/firefighter/librarian/nurse/ghost costumes (you know what I'm talking about—and isn't it telling that this is often the only time women dress in the uniform of typically male roles, and yet they do it in a degradingly "feminine" way?),

&

3) disgusting costumes (which often encompasses one or both of the first two).

My Halloween stars:

1) creative, out-of-the-ordinary costumes (Like the year my friend went as a skunk. I went as an equestrian and people thought she was my horse, but that was okay, her costume was still great, and all homemade.),

2) tied-in group and/or couple costumes,

3) allusions to current events, movies, and TV shows.

This year I'm going as a stylish witch, and a certain someone will be my familiar. I know this is not the most creative option, but I haven't been a witch since I was really little, and I found this great hat in Salem, Massachusetts, that I just had to buy. (It is perfectly acceptable, in my eyes, to base a costume and/or theme party on something you want to wear.)

But last year I was Lucky the Leprechaun (and, interestingly, my quasi-gender-bending was confusing to some—one guy guessed that I was Lucky's girlfriend), and while I stuck to plain old cereal, my sisters and their friends were "cereal killers."

So basically you just dress up like all the great cereal characters—the Trix rabbit, Count Chocula, Toucan Sam, Buzz (using my Queen Bee costume), etc.—grab a fake knife or other weapon (though even fake weapons creep me out, so this is not for me), and you have a cute and witty costume. Bonus points if you turn a box of your cereal into a purse.

Happy Haunting!

Ginger

Money matters

While I think there are definitely reasons not to discuss money at, say, a dinner party, I think some of our cultural taboos about money only serve to strengthen inequalities (which was probably the original intent). For example, some companies have actual policies preventing employees from telling each other how much they make—which means that the employees won't know when they're being grossly underpaid as compared to a colleague until it's too late (see Ledbetter v. Goodyear). Great for the bossman, not so great for you.

And of course this is reinforced by the societal idea that our personal worth can be measured by our salaries, leading us to keep our income info to ourselves. So the not-talking-about-money leads people to learn the majority of their money habits—good or bad—from their parents. And look at all those other lovely things our parents unconsciously teach us about relationships . . .

When two people start a relationship, money is generally one of the last things they talk about—and often only once there are problems that have already done some damage. I thought this article was a good summary of why we should put money much higher on the list of pillow-talking points.

Otherwise you might be in for a rude awakening.

Love,
Ginger

Che Bella!

I'm not going to go on and on about the lost art of letter-writing, because plenty of others have done so before, but I will say that those who don't use snail mail are missing out on one of the best little things in life: fun stationery.

I personally find a store like Papyrus the best place to kill time and gain a good mood —and maybe even inspiration. And if you can't resist buying a card or two, it's okay, because they're presents for someone else. See, you're so thoughtful!

I especially love Papyrus —which, along with Liberty, I consider to be The Best Store Ever —because they carry Bella Pilar's designs. Maybe it's because I didn't get all the girly-girl stuff out of my system when I was little (because my mom wasn't into all the gender-role stuff, for which I am really grateful to her), but I just can't resist cute illustrations of retro and/or fashion-y ladies. This is probably why I also love Jordi LaBanda, Jeffrey Fulvimari, Fluff, Anne Taintor, and Jack Vittriano.

Now when this type of thing is done badly, or is too kitschy or pin-uppy, I'm not into it at all. But the good ones are so irresistible to me.

Call me lowbrow, call me cheesy, I don't care. I'm just being myself —and sending people pretty, sparkly greetings —and that's never rude.

Ciao!
Ginger

How to throw a "Summer Nights" Party

Now that it's mid-October, while there's no way you can still reasonably deny that summer is over, you can still have a 50s-themed "Summer Nights" Party—you know, after the "Grease" song of that name. It has three of my preferred elements for a theme party: 1) easy costume potential, 2) great music potential, and 3) a clever name. Go, Greased Lightnin'!

TO EAT: Summer treats (blueberries, strawberries, etc.) and classic Americana snack foods (cookies, M&Ms, and cheese puffs—the baked kind are so delicious). Add in some colorful napkins, such as the picnic blanket-style ones, above.

TO DRINK: Because no dance at Rydell High would be complete without punch, whip up two bowls, one pre-spiked and one not.

Combine 46 oz. pineapple juice, 12 oz. frozen orange juice, 12 oz. frozen lemonade, and 3.5 qts. water. Refrigerate, and add 1 qt. of ginger ale, along with maraschino cherries (and whatever your spike of choice is), right before serving.

TO WEAR: Full skirts and shirt dresses, brooches, capri pants, leopard-print scarves, retro glasses, short-sleeved work shirts with ties, fedoras, rolled-up jeans, rolled-up T-shirts, polka dots, slicked-back hair, and ponytails. And for those of you who secretly love wrist corsages (like yours truly), slip on a flower bracelet like this and you're ready to dance the night away in the Rydell High gymasium.

DECOR: Even those guests that don't dress up will fit right in when they're sitting on beach chairs (for extra seating) under a colorful beach umbrella. ("Beach Blanket Bingo," anyone? Oh, hmm, apparently that's from 1965, but I still think it works).

MOOD MUSIC: A playlist full of classic 50s hits, of course.

TO PLAY: Wrap up the night with a rousing game of Taboo. Perfect fit for those repressive 50s, no?

Hopelessly devoted to you,
Ginger

Celebrate the everyday

Welcome to How Not To Be Rude! Though this is not a wedding blog, nor only a party blog, I thought for my inaugural post, I'd start with something positive. . . .

I'm linking to wedding pictures I saw via Etsy of a couple who seem very much after my own heart—they love theme parties (or at least twenties style) so much, they had one for their wedding. I applaud them for sticking to the theme, right down to the smallest details.

I think my favorite part is their amazing telegram-style invitation (above). Plus it's a postcard, with an online RSVP, making it much more economical and environmentally friendly than a traditional multi-envelope, multi-card wedding invite. (Seriously, what are all those envelopes even for?)

Sincerely,
Ginger